Hey Hippies! Back Off!

It appears increasingly likely that we will see Marijuana legalized in the United States in the near future. As this Gallup Poll shows, support for legalizing marijuana has increased from 25% to 36% in the last ten years. More doctors are supporting its medicinal purposes, and marijuana shops are slowly growing in different parts of America. Obama won’t waste any of his political capital on legalizing marijuana during his first term, but there’s a chance that during his 2nd term, after accomplishing his health care and economic goals, he could make a push for it. And it would be the right thing to do. But for this to happen, the hippies have to do their part. Specifically, they need to keep quiet and stay out of the way.

The fight for marijuana’s legalization creates somewhat of a paradox, in that the most vocal proponents of its legalization are also the best example of why marijuana should remain illegal. How can you be swayed to think that marijuana is a harmless drug when the hippies protesting its illegality are unemployed, smelly, and have yellow teeth. Look at these pictures from ‘Hempfest’ in Seattle. Would you like to know any of these people? How would you like your child to turn out like that? If that’s what marijuana does to you, I don’t want any part of it.

But the truth is a lot of people smoke pot, and they're just fine. To them it is nothing more than a plant that makes them a little silly and hungry. But for a small group of American’s marijuana is not just a plant, but a lifestyle, and they have taken it upon themselves to lead the fight for its legality. It’s like if during prohibition you had every grimy alcoholic lobbying on behalf of the alcohol industry. If these hippies are serious about getting pot legalized, they should do themselves a favor and disappear for a little while while lawyers and libertarian groups poke holes in the ridiculousness of marijuana’s illegality. I even created a short list of activities to keep the hippies busy while there cause is pursued:

1.) Go on a really long nature walk

2.) Instead of having a hippy drum circle try out different shapes, like a drum trapezoid or a drum pentagon

3.) Do everything you would do normally, but do it on 2nd Life

4.) Protest against abortion with the pro-life crowd, so Roe v. Wade never gets over turned either

5.) Try synching your favorite albums to different movies. Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz can’t be the only example. Maybe Rubber Soul and Psycho? Or what if the film American Beauty was synchronized with the Grateful Dead album American Beauty? The possibilities are endless, and believe me, you have the time.